Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jon wrapped his arms tightly around his naked wife. Sleeping with her in his arms would never get boring. Jon smiled as his arms wrapped her deeper into his embrace and his hand cupped her fuller breast. Pregnancy had done her body good already; she was rounder in all the places Jon loved most. Hell somehow she even had an ass now, he loved that.

“DADDY DADDY!” Romeo ran into the room screaming.

Jon’s eyes shoot open and his finger comes to his mouth, “Shhh Danielle is sleeping. What’s up buddy?”
“Can I cuddle too?” Romeo asked in a stage whisper.
“Sure buddy crawl up here on top of the covers.” Jon said quickly thinking back to what caused Danielle and him to end up naked under the covers. Shit he thought, their lovemaking frenzy last night in the living room did not include picking up the clothes they threw all over. Jon kept his eyes closed but expected to feel the bed dip behind him just a bit as Romeo cuddled up to his back but after a moment of not feeling that he opened his eyes just to see Romeo crawl up on the bed in front of Danielle. Jon’s soft smile settled as he wrapped his arm around both his wife and child.
His eyes opened as quickly as they had closed. What was he thinking if one of his kids by his ex-wife were here that meant they all were?
“Romeo is mommy still here?” He asked softly still trying not to wake his wife.
“Yes she downstairs.” He gives and exaggerated yawn.
“Ok can you keep Danielle company I want to go say hi.”
“Sure daddy I on it.” Romeo cuddled closer and closed his eyes again.
Jon moved to the edge of the bed and slid his boxers on and walked downstairs. Dorothea stood in the kitchen looking around, reminiscing about the life she used to have with Jon.
“Hey the next time you’re bringing the kids over why don’t you call first?” Jon asked moving to get some coffee.
“Jon put some clothes on.” She immediately scolded him.
He turned to look at her, that killer smile that works to seduce millions. He looked down at his body and smirked at her. “What’s the problem Dot you’ve seen me plenty of times in a hell of a lot less.”
“That’s not the point.” She flushed. Damn why does that man still have the ability to turn her insides to jelly without even touching her.
“That is the point Dorothea, you’re in OUR home, he can wear whatever the hell he wants.” Danielle said from the stairway. Dot’s face paled at being caught looking at her ex with wanton eyes. “Danielle I just”
“You just walked into our home without even knocking. Dorothea he’d never walk into your home like that. It's rude.”
“He’s never lived at my place.” She attempted to justify.
“He bought the place for you.” Danielle tells her. “Jon can you get me some coffee?”

“Sure baby.” Jon smiled at his wife’s protective assertiveness. There was something to be said about women fighting over you. Even though he knows he shouldn’t like this, he knows he should all but kick Dot out he wanted to see what his wife would do. It stroked a guy’s ego to know his woman would fight for him. Even if Dot could kick her ass he loved knowing she’s standing up for him. It made his heart full to look at her. In bare feet he walked back to Del with her coffee. “Here baby.”

“You shouldn’t drink that if you’re trying to get pregnant.” Dot tells her not knowing yet that they are pregnant already.

“We aren’t trying anymore.” Jon tells Dot softly.

“Oh I’m sorry, I know you wanted children.”

“No Dot we aren’t trying because we succeeded. Danielle is pregnant.” Jon took his wife in his arms and kissed her neck absently. He couldn’t believe his luck. Looking over Danielle’s shoulder he saw the love of the first half of his life, and in his arms is the love of the rest of his life. He has truly been blessed in the love category he knows that. This time he can’t let things get messed up. He knows he has to value her above and beyond everything. He’s going to prove to her always that she’s number one.

“You shouldn’t have coffee then if you’re pregnant.” Dot warns.

“Dot I’m not the type of person that believes Doctors know everything. They practice medicine – they haven’t perfected it yet because if they did I wouldn’t have Asthma anymore. I’m going to drink coffee and be normal while pregnant my mom drank coffee with me and other than Asthma I’m perfectly healthy.”

“Well I just” She started to say but Jon stepped out from behind Danielle again and distracted her. “Jon damnit put some clothes on.” Dot tells him rather exasperated.

“OH stop playing shy Dorothea it's not like you haven’t seen him in much less many times.” Danielle laughed.

“Yes but then I could attack him and not get my ass kicked.” Dot explained.

“True, he’s mine. How about this since his attire bothers you so bad, you can go home and write yourself a few notes that whenever you’re coming over here to call us first. It's not a good idea for any of the kids to walk in on us naked like Romeo did today.”

“Possessive much?” Dot challenged Danielle.

Jon looked at Dot and for the first time could openly see that look in her eyes that she used to have for him, that look that admitted for her that she missed him. He could tell by the misting of her eyes she wanted to be the one he warped in his arms. But that couldn’t be could it? Jon knew that Dot caught on that he looked at Danielle the way he looked at her 5 years ago. Like she could do no wrong and she was everything he needed.

“Yes I’m possessive, he’s mine and I’m not letting go ever.”

“You know this possessive thing, baby it's a turn on.” He smiled and nibbled on her neck this time solely because he could and he knew she liked it. Forgetting for just a moment that Dot was in the room.

“I’ve got to go.” Dot quickly walked out of the house.

“Babe I’ve got to talk to her something’s wrong.” Jon let go of Danielle looking worried towards the door.

“That’s fine baby I’ll check on the kids.” She smiles giving him a soft smile.

Jon reached over and touched Dani’s hand. “Thanks sweetheart.” Smiling softly he turned on his heal and ran out to catch Dot in the driveway before she left.

“Hey talk to me.” He called to her stopping near the driver’s side of the car.

“No Jon. I can’t.” Dot said back with tears almost escaping.

“Why Dot you’ve always talked to me.” He didn’t understand, Dot had been his best friend almost all his life, why was she running from him he didn’t do anything wrong here.

Dot turned to him a tear escaping her eye. “These Days track 8.” With that she drove away from him.

“What the fuck?” Turning to walk into the house Jon wondered what the hell that meant. He closed the door and immediately walked downstairs to the studio and grabbed the These Days CD. Jon searched his mind for what the hell track 8 was, after all he had recorded 100s. “What the hell couldn’t she say to me?”

Soon the familiar lyrics played through his mind and ripped through his heart

"(It's Hard) Letting You Go"

It ain't no fun lying down to sleep
And there ain't no secrets left for me to keep
I wish the stars up in the sky
Would all just call in sick
And the clouds would take the moon out
On some one-way trip

I drove all night down streets that wouldn't bend
But somehow they drove me back here once again
To the place I lost at love, and the place I lost my soul
I wish I'd just burn down this place that we called home
It would all have been so easy
If you'd only made me cry
And told me how you're leaving me
To some organ grinder's lullaby

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

Now the sky, it shines a different kind of blue
And the neighbor's dog don't bark like he used to
Well - me, these days
I just miss you - it's the nights that I go insane
Unless you're coming back for me
That's one thing I know that won't change

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

Now some tarot card shark said I'll draw you a heart
And we'll find you somebody else new
But I've made my last trip to those carnival lips
When I bet all that I had on you

It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, so hard
It's hard letting you go
It's hard, so hard, it's tearing out my heart
But it's hard letting you go

He picked up the phone and called Dot as the song ended.

“What?” She answered, knowing he needed to talk this out.

“You have to let go Dot. It might be hard but you chose this remember?”

“I don’t have to like it.”

“But you can’t take it out on my wife, you can’t try to sabotage my new life, it's not fair to me I didn’t ask for this but I’ve moved on. You have to move on Dot.”

“Ok can you two keep the kids for a few weeks, I plan on taking a trip to Europe?” Dot asked changing the subject immediately.

“You’ve been to Europe 80 times Dot?” Jon told her not understanding why all of a sudden she wanted to go again.

“Mark and I are getting married ok, it's our honeymoon.” She admitted.

“Does he know he’ll always be second place? Don’t settle Dot. You walked out on me because you thought being with me meant you were settling for less than you deserved. Don’t walk into a marriage again if it's not everything you want. You always picked on me for not wanting to be alone you have that same need inside you.” No matter the awkwardness of the conversation he couldn’t let Dot make this mistake his love for her ran to deep.

“Jon I have to marry Mark, no one is ever going to compare to you and I don’t want to be alone forever, he’s good to me, treats the kids well. I’ll be happy enough.”

“Happy enough isn’t what you deserve Dot. Date him, keep him in your life until either you stop wanting me and only want him or you find someone that rocks your world. Up until about a year ago you probably could have un-did the hole you put in my heart but now that’s not possible. Don’t make the hole in yours bigger by never actually allowing someone to fill it.”

“You sound so philosophical?” Dot smiled weakly at him.

He smiled to himself, “Dot when you broke my heart I thought for sure I’d never be happy again, that I’d never find someone I could believe in again. But I did, I found Dani and we’re happy we’re going to be a family and you taught me to cherish this feeling, that’s what I’m doing. Go to Europe with him and have fun but don’t marry him unless you can live by that vow forever, truly forever this time because it's not fair of you to do to him what you did to me. You allowed me to believe in forever until you walked away.”

He whispers his goodbye and walked upstairs but Danielle isn’t to be found anywhere in the main living area so he returns to their room thinking he’ll have to put some clothes on to find her but a smile reaches his eyes when he takes in the beautiful picture of his pregnant wife with her arm wrapped around his son, both sleeping peacefully. Jon quickly joined them not wanting to ever stop cherishing these small moments in time that are to perfect for words.